My Patented Philosophy on Motherhood

Being 31 weeks pregnant, I have already been asked a slew of questions about where I stand on various matters of motherhood. And I hugely admire the ability of many moms to form strong convictions and definitively answer "yes or no" on every issue.

However, when it comes to child birthing/rearing/feeding/etc I have settled on my own personal philosophy and I stand behind it 100%:

We'll see.

It is the perfect answer to every question they throw at us pregnant ladies:

Will you get an epidural?

We'll see. If I show up to the hospital and my body is raring to go, probably not. But if my lady parts decide that instead of a sprint, they want to run a marathon, then absolutely!

Cloth diapers or disposable?

We'll see. I ordered 6 cloth diapers and they seem to work more or less like disposable diapers. If it's not too much trouble and they're not super leaky, then cloth it is. If I clog up my brand new washing machine with baby poo in the first week and no one wants to hold my kid for fear of getting gooed on, then the environment can kiss it.

Are you going to nurse?

We'll see. I sure hope so. I really want to. But if me or the baby is hard of nursing I won't hold it against either of us.

How long will the baby sleep in your room?

We'll see. It seems so scary to be responsible for keeping a tiny human safe from harm. I'm not sure how long that anxiety will take to wear off.

Will you go back to work?

We'll see. I'm mentally preparing to stay home and tackle this motherhood thing one on one. And I'm looking forward to it....as of now. But if I start going nuts and we can't afford diapers (here's hoping the cloth thing works out) then back to work it is.

How many kids are you going to have?

We'll see. My pregnancy so far has been awesome and if things stay this way, maybe I'll keep at it until they give us our own reality show. But if having a newborn goes the way I know it can and probably will, I might just cover my gender bases and call it a day.

Ultimately, what I like about my philosophy is that no one can hold me to anything. If I say "oh yeah, I'm only going to use cloth diapers and epidurals are for weenies" then I have to follow through or suffer the indignities of mom failure. But with my patented "We'll see" method, I can be like a mid-90s rapper and just free flow through motherhood. But unlike a rapper, my plan is bullet-proof!