Dear Brian's Beard,
Please don't take this the wrong way but I must ask you to leave. It was fun to watch you grow and curl and do all sorts of fun new tricks every morning. But I feel like you have overstayed your welcome. Emily Post says guests should stay no more than 3 days. It has been 6 months. So far you have shared your strength with Brian, but according to wikipedia is it a fine line between symbiotic and parasitic. I fear a day will come when you try to take over. Besides, it's almost summer and I really don't want to see you in a bathing suit. Please understand that it's not personal. I just miss the shape of Brian's face. And maybe if he would have let me braid you things could have been different. But alas, until the next time our band plays an event based on the theme of facial hair, goodbye.
Sincerely,
Claire
PS. Please tell your cousin, Normal Beard, he is welcome to stay as long as he wants.
1 comment:
I appreciate you reaching out to my beard. But we'll never know how it really feels because we flushed it down the toilet like a dead goldfish. This after it gave me so, so much.
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