My Patented Philosophy on Motherhood

Being 31 weeks pregnant, I have already been asked a slew of questions about where I stand on various matters of motherhood. And I hugely admire the ability of many moms to form strong convictions and definitively answer "yes or no" on every issue.

However, when it comes to child birthing/rearing/feeding/etc I have settled on my own personal philosophy and I stand behind it 100%:

We'll see.

It is the perfect answer to every question they throw at us pregnant ladies:

Will you get an epidural?

We'll see. If I show up to the hospital and my body is raring to go, probably not. But if my lady parts decide that instead of a sprint, they want to run a marathon, then absolutely!

Cloth diapers or disposable?

We'll see. I ordered 6 cloth diapers and they seem to work more or less like disposable diapers. If it's not too much trouble and they're not super leaky, then cloth it is. If I clog up my brand new washing machine with baby poo in the first week and no one wants to hold my kid for fear of getting gooed on, then the environment can kiss it.

Are you going to nurse?

We'll see. I sure hope so. I really want to. But if me or the baby is hard of nursing I won't hold it against either of us.

How long will the baby sleep in your room?

We'll see. It seems so scary to be responsible for keeping a tiny human safe from harm. I'm not sure how long that anxiety will take to wear off.

Will you go back to work?

We'll see. I'm mentally preparing to stay home and tackle this motherhood thing one on one. And I'm looking forward to it....as of now. But if I start going nuts and we can't afford diapers (here's hoping the cloth thing works out) then back to work it is.

How many kids are you going to have?

We'll see. My pregnancy so far has been awesome and if things stay this way, maybe I'll keep at it until they give us our own reality show. But if having a newborn goes the way I know it can and probably will, I might just cover my gender bases and call it a day.

Ultimately, what I like about my philosophy is that no one can hold me to anything. If I say "oh yeah, I'm only going to use cloth diapers and epidurals are for weenies" then I have to follow through or suffer the indignities of mom failure. But with my patented "We'll see" method, I can be like a mid-90s rapper and just free flow through motherhood. But unlike a rapper, my plan is bullet-proof!

Skincare Addiction Update: It's been ages (but we haven't been aging!)

It's been awhile since my last skincare post. But I've come across a couple of new products that I'm anxious to try:

Face Serum

I'm always on the hunt for a serum that works but doesn't cost a million dollars. I swear the difference between the word lotion and the word serum is $100. Since my last post I decided to go a more natural route with Fresh's soy serum.

It was cheaper than the DDF serum I posted about before and I think just as good. However, I do like trying new things so I'm about to try this one called Yes to blueberries from the brand Yes to carrots. I've always been interested in the organicness of this brand. And it's only $20!

Loose Powder

I don't have as nearly much passion for make up as I do for skincare. BUT I do make note when I come across something good like this Clinique powder for people who have rosacea or really sensitive skin. I don't have a ton of redness but I don't like to wear foundation so maybe this will even out my skin tone.

New Line of Products

This is exciting. Dr. Perricone has a new (lower priced) line of products called Super. I've never bought his products because they were so expensive but I read an article about him ages ago and his approach to face care makes a lot of sense. It's all about what you eat and the products you use. He's the reason I started forcing raw salmon down my gullet- all in the name of beauty.

Moisturizer Disclaimer

It has come to my attention that I failed to note on my previous post that my skin type is pretty dry. So the fact that I slather on Cetaphil's Cream every morning and night is probably too much for those with normal to oily skin. (It even makes me break out sometimes in the summer so I only use it once a day then. But in my crazy head I would rather have pimples than wrinkles.) Cetaphil makes a lotion that is lighter than the cream that could work but also, some people may not even need to put anything on between serum and sunscreen in the AM or anything after serum in the PM. I am jealous of all of you because the oilier your skin the less wrinkles you will have!

Crazy pregnancy stuff the movies did not prepare me for:

Up until last August when I found out I was pregnant, all of my information about pregnancy came from the movies. Well, I have a HUGE bone to pick with Hollywood.

1. Pregnant ladies look cute clothed but CRAZY naked.

I'm not sure how Demi Moore and Vanity Fair were able to pull it off. One time I was walking in London and passed by a dude with huge goiter. I get the same feeling of "what the ---" when I glimpse myself in the full length mirror.

2. A baby doesn't kick one cute time.

At least not this baby. He kicks and kicks and kicks. And not when I'm running around doing stuff and not likely to notice. But when I lay down to go to sleep or watch fine cinema (such as Working Girl starring Melanie Griffith) he becomes a karate instructor in the dojo of my uterus. (I sound whiney, but I actually love when he kicks- at least 95% of the time. Although, a heads up would've been nice.)

3. Maternity clothes are only available in one style: cute.

Even places that have awesome regular clothes (i.e. Topshop) think the second the egg is fertilized that all we want to wear are ruffles and bows and "cute" patterns. If someone met me right now they would think I shop at Pottery Barn and watch RomComs all the livelong day. (Full disclosure: I did buy some curtains at Pottery Barn and I do watch RomComs but only on Sunday afternoons on TBS.) Case in point: I'm going to Vegas for a bachelorette party this weekend and they do NOT sell sequin mini dresses at Pea in the Pod.

4. Goat cheese wants to hurt my baby.

Upon getting knocked up, I totally understood that I couldn't accidentally drink a bottle of wine by myself anymore. And I knew that if I were a smoker/IV drug user, that I'd have to lay off that for awhile, too. But goat cheese? Deli meat? Decently cooked steak? And they make it sound even scarier than wine/cigarettes/drugs. Apparently, just one bad contaminated Greek salad could be the end.

5. Not one single person I've talked to has said giving birth is easy.

It's weird. By now, I've asked dozens and dozens of people and no one has mixed things up by saying "Birth? That was easy peasy." I'd really like to chat with the women on the show "I didn't know I was pregnant." They really make pregnancy look like a piece of cake.

That's all I've got for now. I'll follow up with more as they come. (Minus the yucky stuff that you really should only learn from baby books.)